Responsible: answerable or accountable, as for something within one’s power, control, or management.
Child: a person between birth and full growth.

The responsibilities of a child have been cold water to a sleeping face. It’s amazing how much the little guy doesn’t know. He turned one month old this past wednesday. It’s hard to imagine just one month of life outside the womb. The shapes, the sounds, and the feelings. It’s the building of patterns and emotions that will govern his life. As of now, he just seems to have two modes, content and not. The abrasive qualities of responsibility hits when he is not content. It really makes you think about how easy it is to feed yourself, to use the toilet, to get up and walk around. We are everything to him at this point. We have to be solid, in his oceanic reality. Wave after wave of confusion is difficult, I know.

I imagine being a newborn like being on acid. Everything is nothing, but it is still everything simply because you observe it. Defining reality is difficult. Defining yourself is even more difficult. I think Alan Watts said it best: “Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth”.

Having a child will change me, has changed me, more than I know. Now is difficult. Looking ahead, I think it will all be for the best.

I couldn’t do this without my lovely wife. I love you. I love you too son.